Friday Posts Make You Stupider 8 June 2007
Hey kids! Did you know that if you watch an entire episode of Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? by the end of the show the answer to the question posed in the title will be a resounding no? It’s true! About the time you see a corporate CFO having an argument with himself over whether or not chickens are cold-blooded (”...lessee… I know fish are cold-blooded because they live in cold places… um…”) or if Vikings came from Scandinavia (“I thought they came from Minnesota! Har!”) your brain will literally begin to consume itself. Knowledge you have grasped and retained for years will be destroyed by the onslaught of anti-intelligence. It’s kind of like watching a Bush press conference times a thousand. By the end of the show you’ll be laughing unironically at Jeff Foxworthy’s jokes and (not coincidentally) will have the perfect IQ to watch COPS.
Honestly. This show should be legally required to send me a million dollars and let me punch Jeff Foxworthy in the face just for suffering through the eight minutes of it I managed. If an alien race were deciding if humanity is ripe for conquest based on this show, we would all already be working the beryllium mines on Chiron Beta Prime.
And speaking of Jonathan Coulton (assuming you followed that last link) he just wrote a song about an octopus which, obviously, I can’t let pass without mention.
In Soviet Russia video games get high score on you!
Hey, look. Zombie Kit.
Is Paris in jail right now? This is what the internet is really for.
Random 10
- Rains On Me – Tom Waits (There must always be Tom)
- City Song – Matt Pond PA (I wish this band was less boring)
- Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night – John Cale (Hey, English Majors! Sing along!
- Hair Stew – Bob Mould
- James Alley Blues – Wilco (From this. Get it.)
- Green Corn – Leadbelly (Have I done this without a Leadbelly song coming up?)
- Far From Me – Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
- The Dreaming Moon – The Magnetic Fields
- Ganja Babe – Michael Franti & Spearhead (Even if you haven’t seen the show, Weeds has maybe the best soundtrack of any TV show ever.)
- So Far I Have Not Found the Science – Soul Coughing
A certain Australian Egyptologist is responsible for this song being stuck in my head all this week. And now you get to have it too: Your Adorable Beast – Bobby Bare, Jr.
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