No Commercial Potential: I was born secular and inconsolable

Freedom. Horrible freedom. 2 March 2009

So, two weeks ago today it was Presidents Day and I had the day off work. I went to the Art Institute and got stuff done at home and generally enjoyed myself and I thought, ‘wow, how nice a few more days off would be.’

And then on Thursday I got laid off. Apparently wish fulfillment is only possible if it can be cruelly ironic.

So that was a pretty short gig. 8 months at Playboy. I suppose this is to be expected when you hitch your wagon to an anvil. On the open sea.

Some Things

• There are a lot of good people at Playboy who I hope are not doomed like me. It would be cool to work with them on something that wasn’t a 56-year-old nostalgia project that stopped being culturally relevant in the mid-70s approximately. If that thing ever finishes sinking, people, call me.
• It might be me, but “monetizing the brand” is not a very motivational corporate goal. Altho I am historically awful at monetizing anything.
• I never got to go to a proper Playboy party. The kind I would only hear stories about. Very lame.
• I never so much as laid eyes on a Playmate. I did however, briefly talk to 2008 Cyber Girl of the Year Jo Garcia.
• If I went in with any larger goal it was to weasel my way into a trip to the Mansion. So, fail on that count as well.
• Actually (as I’m apparently just citing grievances now) I didn’t get to do any of what I thought I was getting hired to do. Which was to work on the site redesign and relaunch. In that I thought I was going to have some input on the design. But no. (There’s a longer rant on this possibly in the works when (if) the (repeatedly-delayed) relaunch (ever) happens.)
• Consequently, this is about all I have to show for myself for the past eight months.
• I did get to see a lot of boobs every day. And no one can take that away from me.

Anyway.

Speaking of the open sea, I am now back in the rather cold and choppy waters of the freelance market, it would appear.

This is my portfolio. Give me some money and I will make something for you. Until then, I have some posters to monetize.

See more: Unjustified Text, Miscellania